Kornbus, Inc.

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...
Academy Awards tonight. I’m excited! I’ve actually seen a few of the nominees this year and look forward to seeing them rewarded. If only the show could be cut in half. I mean, who really cares who wins Best Key Grip in an Educational Short Film or whatever anyway? Not me. But I do care about the big awards. So, without further adu, here are my picks for the show. Let’s see how I do:

Best Supporting Actor
As far as I’m concerned, this is a three man race. It’s going to come down to Alec Baldwin (The Cooler), Benicio Del Toro (21 Grams) and Tim Robbins (Mystic River). It’s probably going to go to Alec Baldwin, but my heart says to go with Tim Robbins. He gave an amazing performance in Mystic River and definitely deserves the nod. However, politics may come into play here. Robbins is not a very big fan of GW Bush and that may be enough to allow Baldwin to walk away with it. As much as I think Tim Robbins deserves it, he’s a great actor and he’ll be nominated again. So, I’m going against my heart.

My pick = Alec Baldwin (But I hope I’m wrong.)

Best Supporting Actress
Dammit, this is tough. The nominees are Patricia Clarkson (Pieces of April), Marcia Gay Harden (Mystic River), Holly Hunter (Thirteen) and Renee’ Zellweger (Cold Mountain). Smart money is on Zellweger for this one. She’s a good actress, seems to only make hit movies and just might be due for Oscar. Marcia Gay Harden was awesome and I hear Clarkson and Holly Hunter were good, but I’m going with Renee’.

My pick = Renee’ Zellweger.

Best Director
And the nominees are...Sofia Coppola (Lost in Translation), Clint Eastwood (Mystic River), Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King), Fernando Meirelles (City of God) and Peter Weir (Master and Commander). Ok, Fernando and Mr. Weir...don’t even bother to show up. You are both good at what you do, but let’s face it, Peter Jackson is taking this one. As much as I’d like to say Eastwood or Coppola will win, they probably won’t. Therefore,

My Pick = Peter Jackson

Best Actress
The nominations went to Keisha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider), Diane Keaton (Something’s Gotta Give), Samantha Morton (In America), Charlize Theron (Monster) and Naomi Watts (21 Grams). I like Theron’s chances here. She’s got a lot of momentum coming into the Oscars and she’ll take home the prize for her portrayal of serial killer Aileen Wournos.

My Pick = Charlize Theron

Best Actor
Ok, let’s see...Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean), Ben Kingsley (House of Sand and Fog), Jude Law (Cold Mountain), Bill Murray (Lost in Translation) and Sean Penn (Mystic River) are going to battle it out for this one. In my humble opinion, there is no way Sean Penn should not win this award. He delivered an awesome performance and deserves all the fanfare he has received. However, once again, personal politics could damper his chances as ridiculous as that is. But, honestly, I doubt Sean cares anyway. He never has found much interest in the Oscars. But, even so, I’m picking him...though I’m expecting an upset.

My Pick = Sean Penn

Best Picture
The Grand Daddy of Them All. Best Picture. Who is up for it? I’ll tell you: Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Lost in Translation, Master and Commander, Mystic River and Seabiscuit. Months before the movie came out, I said Mystic River would win the Oscar. It just seemed so good and when I saw it, I wasn’t disappointed. It was better than I imagined, in fact. So, even though the safest bet is on the Hobbits and the juggernaut that is LOTR, I’m not wavering now.

My Pick = Mystic River


Well there we have it. My Oscar picks. I’m interested to see how I do. Every year I think I’ve got everything figured out and every year I get totally hoed by the Academy voters. So, this year will probably not be any different. There’s almost always a suprise win in there somewhere, but I’m sticking with my guns. I hope everyone tunes in. I sure will!

...AND NOW, HERE’S SPORTS.

Politics, CBS Nightly News, War in Iraq, etc...it makes my head hurt. It’s time to take a little break from it all. I’d rather be writing and talking about sports anyway. So, here’s a few items that have been floating around my head lately:

The Bartman Ball
So the Bartman Ball has finally bit the big one. Destroying the ball is supposed to break this alleged “curse” that has plagued the Cub’s for nearly one hundred years. Well, I hope it helps. But the first thing the Cubbies and their fans need to get over is this omnipresent defeatist attitude that permeates everything they do. That’s what is holding them back more than any curse.

There is no curse of the billy goat. Steve Bartman is not your problem. Look, you’ve got a great lineup and a solid pitching staff. When the season starts, go kick some ass. No more excuses. I want to see a Cubs championship now.


Barry Bonds and BALCO
I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say it: Barry Bonds was on steroids. I know that might offend some sports fans, but it’s probably true. I want to be able to accept that at 40 years old, this guy is heads and tails above every hitter in baseball, but I just can’t.

Facts are facts. Bonds’ own trainer is being charged with distributing steroids to ballplayers. Even if he never says he gave them to you, that looks bad, Barry. Really really bad. It looks Scott Peterson type bad. It looks O.J. bad.

Barry, you never hit 50 home runs in your career and then suddenly, out of nowhere, you hit 73. There’s something fishy about that. Home runs are not easy to hit, I know. How did you manage, at your age, to miraculously hit 24 more than you ever did at any point in your career? I want to believe you had a string of good luck, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

It looks bad, Barry. Really, really bad.


Jamal Lewis, the NFL and ESPN’s Playmakers
So, it seems Baltimore’s star running back, Jamal Lewis, has been indicted on charges of conspiring to distribute cocaine four years ago. It was before he entered the NFL, but it’s a black eye on Lewis’s career and on the league in which he plays. Although he has pled not guilty to these allegations, my guess is that he will eventually plea to a lesser charge in an effort to avoid any prison sentence. I guess we’ll all find out eventually.

Still, I can’t help but wonder what the NFL makes of all this. After all, it was the NFL that coerced ESPN to cancel its highly rated and critically acclaimed drama, Playmakers, because they felt it gave the league and its players a bad reputation. Never mind the fact that it was a fictional account of a fictional professional football team which consisted of fictional athletes; the NFL was offended and ESPN didn’t waste much time buckling to the pressure. So how does the NFL reconcile their position that it was Playmakers, not real-life athletes, that are soiling their reputation? I doubt they’re talking.

So Jamal Lewis may or may not have dealt cocaine. Rae Carruth, formerly of the Carolina Panthers, conspired to kill the pregnant mother of his child. Lyle Alzado wasted his body and life away on steroids. Bill Romanowski rips a fellow Oakland Raiders teammate’s helmet off and punches him in his eye, destroying his orbital bone. This is all somewhat recent. What’s going to happen next? And, without Playmakers on the air, who will the NFL point the finger at?


Trade Talk
Trade rumors are abound that Denver’s RB Clinton Portis will be dealt to the Redskins for cornerback Champ Bailey, with a draft pick or two somewhere in the middle. I think it’s a good deal. Portis is unhappy with his contract in Denver and Bailey is unhappy in Washington. However, it seems like a better deal for Champ. He’d be in Denver with a great shot at the playoffs next year. Portis would be off to a rebuilding franchise with only decent odds of being .500 Still, I wish them all the best. They’re both very talented and deserve a championship ring in their careers.


George Forman’s Comeback
George Foreman, at the ripe old age of 55 is making yet another comeback to the sport he can’t seem to let go of. Boxing. 10 years ago he un-retired only to win the Heavyweight Championship. I know that this is what Foreman wants to do, and while I admit I’m a little scared for the guy, I say more power to him. If he feels he can compete in an admittedly weak heavyweight division, so be it. I look forward to watching his comeback fight. Go get em, George!


Klitschko Brothers
Vitali and Wladimir Klitschko are my favorite boxers. I love these guys.

Vitali, after a great showing against Lennox Lewis before having the fight stopped due to cuts, has a chance to win the WBC championship vacated by a now-retired Lewis in a match with Corrie Sanders in a few months. This fight will be a good one because Vitali is a rising star and Corrie Sanders knocked out his brother Wladimir last year, once thought to be an heir apparent to the heavyweight boxing throne.

The Klitschko’s have a dream to each hold a piece of the heavyweight title at the same time. A win by Vitali brings the dream one step closer to fruition. All that would left is for Wladimir to receive a shot, but he’ll have to prove he can hang with the big boys again. I can’t wait to see what transpires.

FROM THE FRONT PAGE

A Lot of topics floating around the front pages of America’s newspapers lately, huh? Well, let’s take a look at a few of the stories and see what all the fuss is about, shall we?

Two John’s Don’t Make a Right
I’ll be the first to admit that politics is not my strongest suit, however, I have a few things to say about the candidacy of the two Democratic Presidential hopefuls.

First of all, it seems pretty obvious that John Kerry will be the nominee of his party. I don’t know exactly why John Edwards is sticking around. He is a great campaigner, and I’d like to see him try again in future elections, but I think it’s best if he hang it up after the coming Super Tuesday primaries. Victory seems to be a lost cause for him right now.

Not that this is to say I think John Kerry is the man for the job either. I can’t stand John Kerry. I hate President Bush, but if Mr. Kerry is the alternative, I’m just going to say “No thanks,” and cast my vote for a 3rd party candidate. Specifically, I’m looking at pulling the lever for either Ralph Nader or, more likely, Michael Badnarik, of the Libertarian Party. Either one, at the very least, is a vote for a three party system and against the typical partisan politics of Washington.


The Passion of the Christ
Can’t anyone make a movie containing religious themes without being criticized or threatened with ostracization? I understand it is a sensitive subject, what with the whole “My God is the REAL God, yours is fake” arguments that domineer these types of things, but come on already. Enough is enough.

I remember, a few years ago, when writer/director Kevin Smith was releasing his movie “Dogma,” the same general type of smear campaigns. The film was a comedy about two fallen angels trying to work their way back into Heaven, but that didn’t matter. People said that he was simply trying to cast a harsh light against the Catholic Church and against organized religion in general...all before they had seen the movie.

Mel Gibson has created a dramatization about the last hours of Christ based on his interpretation of the Bible. While still in production, the rumors were flying that Mr. Gibson was a rabid anti-Semite and the movie would be a cinematic love letter to Adolph Hitler and the forces of evil. Of course, Mel is nothing like the way the media and various Jewish groups have painted him to be, but that hasn’t stopped the criticism. The least anyone can do is wait until they’ve seen the film before they make any judgements. Personally, I have not yet gone. But from what I have heard from the people who have is that it is a powerful experience that has at its core only a message of love, mercy and forgiveness.

But, as far as the inter-faith bickering is concerned, does it really matter what way is the right way to interpret the Bible if the lessons you take from it are just? Does it truly matter what any of us believe, regardless of the God we pray to, as long as our convictions give us hope? I think not.

I’m reminded of a verse from a song by the band Screeching Weasel which sums it up better than I ever could. In part, it says: “Consider the case/Of the woman whose faith/Helped her make it through. When she was raped and cut up/Left for dead in a trunk/Her beliefs held true. It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not/Cause some things are better left without a doubt. And if it works then it gets the job done.” Ben Weasel wrote and sang those lyrics in a song called “The Science of Myth,” and, as far as I’m concerned, the lesson I took years ago from that verse is one a lot of people could use today. They paint the picture perfectly.


Should Gay Marriage Be Legal?
This should not even be an issue. Of course it should be legal.

What amazes me about some of the people in this country is that right now, somewhere in the world, a group of people are conspiring to blow us all up, and what pisses them off is that gay people want to be able to marry each other. It’s pathetic, ignorant and it’s sad.

Look, I’ve got news for you. Gay people have the ability to fall in love. That emotion is not limited to heterosexuals. Gay people also like to have sex with the other gay people with whom they have feelings for. This sex typically will consist of either one man’s penis penetrating another man’s anus, or, in the case of women, the licking and fingering of one another’s vaginas. It happens. Learn to deal with it.

Everyone has to be able to face the facts here. Knowing that there are two homosexuals married to each other does not make us gay, nor does it destroy the sanctity of marriage. You see, straight people already took care of that part. Anytime I hear about a man and a woman co-existing in an abusive marriage or one in which each partner is unhappy but they stay together “for the kids” (so the children can inherit that self-loathing and maybe even pass it on to their own kids), I begin to question the sacredness of the institution. For Christ's sake, some of us actually get married at drive-thru wedding chapels! We have to come to grips with the notion that the gay people of the world can’t screw up or toy with the idea of marriage anymore than us straight-folk already have.

Yes, Gay Marriage should be legal. Homosexuals, like the rest of us, are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And if their pursuit of happiness entails them marrying someone that they love, so be it. It doesn’t affect me and it doesn’t effect anyone else. So why stand in their way?


The Pope and the Pedophilic Priests
It has recently been disclosed that Catholic Dioceses across the country have received 10,667 claims of sexual abuse against children since 1950. Of these, 6,700 reports have been substantiated. Another 3,300 have never been investigated because the suspected offenders are dead.

This is offensively ridiculous to me. I don't care to comment at this time as to why child molestors are so drawn to the priesthood, but they have gotten away with their atrocities for far too long. These people should be in jail, not roaming the pews across the nation looking for new victims.

And where is the Pope? Does he have anything to say about this matter? He has barely lifted a finger against these monsters. As the head of the Catholic Church, it is his responsibility to handle this problem. If his age or health prevents him from standing up against these abominations, he should step aside and allow someone to take power who will. I cannot support any religious leader who has allowed child molestation to go on nearly unabated during his time on the job. No, the Pope will not receive a free pass from me. Does he believe he'll get one from his God?

R.I.P. CHUCK TAYLOR’s (1999-2004)

At approximately 3:12, early in the morning hours of Wednesday, February 25th 2004, I was walking upstairs from my basement bedroom to the living area of my house. In my right hand was a VHS copy of the terrific crime caper L.A. Confidential and in my left was my laptop computer. I was planning on watching the movie on the larger screen television while thinking of something to write about on my weblog. I really had nothing particular in mind, but I figured if the mood should strike me, my iBook would come in handy.

I passed through the kitchen, where several of my cats were eating merrily and staring intently into open space, as cats are oftentimes prone to do. I strolled past them into the dining room where I saw Lily, the only cat not in the kitchen, as apparently she had finished her meal and was now in the process of licking her paws. She was grooming herself right next to my favorite pair of shoes; which were black Converse Chuck Taylor’s that I had been wearing since my senior year of high school. I thought nothing of it as this is something she does quite frequently so I continued walking past her into the living room.

Placing my laptop on the couch and popping my video into the VCR, I was suddenly struck by the mood for something to drink. Since I knew there was no juice or soda in the fridge, a glass of ice water seemed an acceptable substitute. With that thought in mind, I went back to the kitchen, leaving my movie paused and my computer unattended.

Up in the cupboard, I looked for a glass to use. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a plastic cup I had gotten at Deja’ Vu a few years earlier. You see, me and some friends from work had skipped lunch one day to instead watch a few strippers in their natural environment and I had brought home the cup as a souvenir of sorts. It is unique in that it has the visage of a few half-naked women as well as the location of all the Deja’ Vu’s in the country adorned upon it. One of my favorite drinking receptacles, to be sure. I grabbed it from its spot in the cupboard and looked at it for just a moment, perhaps to reminisce. Before I could turn on the faucet to fill it with water, however, I heard what sounded like a cat preparing to retch coming from the dining room. Now, anyone who has cats knows this sound very well. It is a sound we all dread hearing, as it can only result in us on our hands and knees with fistfuls of Brawny towels cleaning up half digested 9 Lives from the floor.

So once I heard this clatter, I sprang from the kitchen to see what was the matter and saw Lily hovering above my shoes...now firmly coated in puke splatter.

Well, my heart just sank. As I’ve stated, these were my favorite pair. I think it’s safe to assume that owners of Converse Chuck Taylor’s have a certain affinity for their sneakers that other shoes just aren’t afforded. We have a special bond and the grimy stains and tattered fabric we sport so proudly on them tell the story of the times we’ve spent together.

For instance, the holes in my pair represent the wear and tear of nearly 6 full years of walking, working and playing on the streets of Toledo. There is a faded streak of rust that I got when I caught my foot under the driver’s seat of a police cruiser while awaiting transport downtown. But perhaps my favorite feature is the cheese stain on the left toe from when I dropped a full sized order of nachos on myself at the Showcase Theater in Maumee. Again, every deformity is a story to be told.

But, alas, the story has ended for my pair of Chuck’s because a cat named Lily could not keep her food in her belly where it belonged. Instead, she chose to heave it up on my favorite pair of shoes and destroy the legacy they have maintained for so many years.

Now, please understand, I love Lily very much. Of all my cats, I have a very special place in my heart for her. However, I think she will have to be put before the tribunal and be tried for her crimes against shoe-manity. May God have mercy on her soul.

Sure, I could clean them off and maybe have mom throw them in the wash machine, but wouldn’t the taint of cat puke be ever present upon its beautiful black canvass? Wouldn’t it carry that stigma from this moment on, forever reminding me of this horrible night in which the purity of a guy’s sneakers was forever tarnished? I think so. But instead of allowing them to continue on with this horrendous memory, I will instead do the right thing, the humane thing, and simply retire them to the Hefty Cinch-Sak in which all good sneakers are destined to meet their end. It will be tough, but I think Chuck would have wanted it this way.

I will now begin the daunting task of replacing them with another pair just like it. It won’t be the same. It never is. But maybe, just maybe, the next Chuck’s I wear will start a new legacy that will bring with it a level of joy that in some way will remind me of the times I shared with the old. I can only hope they will, Chuck. I can only hope they will.

OH, TO HELL WITH IT. I’VE CHANGED MY MIND.

The Chuck’s live, ladies and gentleman! Directly after writing that last piece, I’ve decided no puke, let alone nasty, stinky, rotten cat puke will keep me and my Chucky T’s apart. So I’m going to hose them off in the backyard and do exactly what I said I wouldn’t...have mom throw them in the wash machine. I just can’t part with them like this. I’m just too sentimental. You understand, right? I hope that you do.

May Chuck Taylor, the patron Saint of ass kickin’ sneakers, forgive me for my lapse in judgment and grant me many more years of comfort in this pair that I love so much. How about another 6 years?

Amen to that.

FAT TUESDAY

Ok, first things first, America. It's Fat Tuesday today and, if only for one day, everyone reading this needs to take the opportunity to tell Dr. Atkins and his crummy diet to kiss your ass. Eat something, goddammit! Get yourself one of those Paczki's or a piece of cake. Anything! Just eat and eat plenty of it.

Look, I've got news for you. Dr. Atkins avoided carbs for years and look where it got him. He's dead. Dieting is not synonymous with invincibility. So whether your preference is the Dr. Atkins Diet or the South Beach Diet or the Bread and Water Diet, you are GOING TO DIE SOMEDAY! Why cheat yourself? Treat yourself!! So, please...do yourself a favor and pig out.

ALOHA!

Hey, what’s up everyone? I’m glad you’ve stopped by. I have basically created this weblog to just ramble about news, politics, entertainment and anything else that happens to be on my mind from day to day. I hope you’ll check it out periodically...but if you ever want to discuss a topic you’ve read about here or anything in general, feel free to drop me a line at IAmDjKornbus@aol.com Thanks!