Wednesday, March 24, 2004
THE THING ABOUT REALITY SHOWS
Ok, why is it that any show on television now that doesnt involve actors and scripts is considered a reality show? Really, there isn’t much “real” about any of them.
Take Survivor, for instance. It’s not a reality show. Real life does not involve CBS holding nation wide auditions for contestants to live on an island.
American Idol is another show that unfairly gets lumped into the “Reality” category. Again, it is not. American Idol is merely a televised contest to find the latest flash-in-the-pan pop singer. The only reality in this show is that the winner will have a few radio singles purchased by the brain-dead masses over a year or two and then fade into obscurity.
Offhand, I can only think of one true reality show on TV at the moment. Cops. You see, when I think of “reality television,” I think of a situation where, if the cameras and home viewing audience were removed, the same incidents would still take place.
Let’s be honest. If there were no cameras on the set of American Idol, there would be no contest going on for a record contract. If there were no cameras on whatever island the Survivor contestants are on, they would all board a plane and fly home. But if the cameras weren’t following around the police officers on Cops, there would still be drunken hillbillies running around trailer parks half naked. And that’s what makes it so cool.
But, hey, if it’s more reality that America wants, why is it accepted sugar coated and toxin free? Can’t we take a little pain and grit? Ya know, like in real life. Why not have a camera follow around the sole white kid in a black neighborhood and watch him get his ass beat on a regular basis? We could call it “Survivor: South Central LA.” Or how about a show where a family of four barely stays above the poverty level even while both parents hold down full time jobs? Better yet, how about a show where we can watch the daily experiences of a working mom raising her kids by herself because their father is doing 15-20 for armed robbery? Sounds like a good idea to me.
Sounds a bit more like real life.
Ok, why is it that any show on television now that doesnt involve actors and scripts is considered a reality show? Really, there isn’t much “real” about any of them.
Take Survivor, for instance. It’s not a reality show. Real life does not involve CBS holding nation wide auditions for contestants to live on an island.
American Idol is another show that unfairly gets lumped into the “Reality” category. Again, it is not. American Idol is merely a televised contest to find the latest flash-in-the-pan pop singer. The only reality in this show is that the winner will have a few radio singles purchased by the brain-dead masses over a year or two and then fade into obscurity.
Offhand, I can only think of one true reality show on TV at the moment. Cops. You see, when I think of “reality television,” I think of a situation where, if the cameras and home viewing audience were removed, the same incidents would still take place.
Let’s be honest. If there were no cameras on the set of American Idol, there would be no contest going on for a record contract. If there were no cameras on whatever island the Survivor contestants are on, they would all board a plane and fly home. But if the cameras weren’t following around the police officers on Cops, there would still be drunken hillbillies running around trailer parks half naked. And that’s what makes it so cool.
But, hey, if it’s more reality that America wants, why is it accepted sugar coated and toxin free? Can’t we take a little pain and grit? Ya know, like in real life. Why not have a camera follow around the sole white kid in a black neighborhood and watch him get his ass beat on a regular basis? We could call it “Survivor: South Central LA.” Or how about a show where a family of four barely stays above the poverty level even while both parents hold down full time jobs? Better yet, how about a show where we can watch the daily experiences of a working mom raising her kids by herself because their father is doing 15-20 for armed robbery? Sounds like a good idea to me.
Sounds a bit more like real life.
Friday, March 19, 2004
Sports Potpourri
Time for some random thoughts pertaining to sports trades, talk and the events of the day. Ready? Go!
Terrell Owens Is An Eagle
It figures. He obviously didn’t want to be in Baltimore. It’s a good move for Philly. Gives them a deep threat that they need. I personally don’t believe they will go to the NFC Championship game again this year, but it’s a good move nonetheless. Honestly though, Owens would have been better off with the Ravens.
Cavalier’s Win Seventh Straight Game
The NBA’s Cav’s are about the hottest team in the league right now with their seventh straight win. This gives them great momentum heading into the playoffs. I’m really excited to see how far they’re able to go. Lebron James is getting MVP buzz, but that’s all it is...buzz. He’s not going to get the MVP. He will likely win Rookie of the Year honors, however. Although expect it to be a close race with Carmelo Anthony. He has made a huge addition to his team as well.
March Madness
The NCAA Basketball tournament begins today. There will be some great games. This time of year always provides some very exciting contests. A few picks? I’ve got Kentucky, Oklahoma St, Duke and UConn in the final four. But, I don’t know a whole lot about the invidual teams, so I’m probably going to end up looking like an idiot. Oh well. Won’t be the first time, or the last.
TV And Movie Talk
I feel like talking about a couple of my favorite shows and some movies I’ve seen recently. And ya know what? It’s my blog and I’ll do what I please!
The Shield
Starring Michael Chiklis as Det. Vic Mackey, the Shield is probably the most entertaining drama on the dial. It’s got blood, guts and corruption aplenty! If you like hardcore, gritty police shoes, look no further than the Shield. Tune in Tuesdays at 10pm on FX.
Secret Window
Secret Window is the new thriller starring Johnny Depp as a tortured writer who is accused of plagiarism by a freaky John Torturro. This movie is entertaining throughout, but nothing special really. You’ll enjoy the story, but maybe not the pacing. And it has its share of pleasantly cheesy lines such as, “I will burn your life and everyone in it...like a cane field in a high wind.” Still, it’s worth a few bucks for a mid-afternoon matinee. If for nothing else, check this one out to see Depp’s everlasting bad hair day. Two and a half stars.
Dickie Roberts
Dickie Roberts stars David Spade as a former child actor trying to reclaim his fame. It has plenty of laughs and Spade rarely disappoints in the smart-ass roles he was apparently born to play. Behind the comedy, though, is a serious moral pertaining to the things in life more important than worldwide fame and adulation. I’ll give it three stars. Check it out.
Alrite, that’s all for now. I’ll be back eventually...
Time for some random thoughts pertaining to sports trades, talk and the events of the day. Ready? Go!
Terrell Owens Is An Eagle
It figures. He obviously didn’t want to be in Baltimore. It’s a good move for Philly. Gives them a deep threat that they need. I personally don’t believe they will go to the NFC Championship game again this year, but it’s a good move nonetheless. Honestly though, Owens would have been better off with the Ravens.
Cavalier’s Win Seventh Straight Game
The NBA’s Cav’s are about the hottest team in the league right now with their seventh straight win. This gives them great momentum heading into the playoffs. I’m really excited to see how far they’re able to go. Lebron James is getting MVP buzz, but that’s all it is...buzz. He’s not going to get the MVP. He will likely win Rookie of the Year honors, however. Although expect it to be a close race with Carmelo Anthony. He has made a huge addition to his team as well.
March Madness
The NCAA Basketball tournament begins today. There will be some great games. This time of year always provides some very exciting contests. A few picks? I’ve got Kentucky, Oklahoma St, Duke and UConn in the final four. But, I don’t know a whole lot about the invidual teams, so I’m probably going to end up looking like an idiot. Oh well. Won’t be the first time, or the last.
TV And Movie Talk
I feel like talking about a couple of my favorite shows and some movies I’ve seen recently. And ya know what? It’s my blog and I’ll do what I please!
The Shield
Starring Michael Chiklis as Det. Vic Mackey, the Shield is probably the most entertaining drama on the dial. It’s got blood, guts and corruption aplenty! If you like hardcore, gritty police shoes, look no further than the Shield. Tune in Tuesdays at 10pm on FX.
Secret Window
Secret Window is the new thriller starring Johnny Depp as a tortured writer who is accused of plagiarism by a freaky John Torturro. This movie is entertaining throughout, but nothing special really. You’ll enjoy the story, but maybe not the pacing. And it has its share of pleasantly cheesy lines such as, “I will burn your life and everyone in it...like a cane field in a high wind.” Still, it’s worth a few bucks for a mid-afternoon matinee. If for nothing else, check this one out to see Depp’s everlasting bad hair day. Two and a half stars.
Dickie Roberts
Dickie Roberts stars David Spade as a former child actor trying to reclaim his fame. It has plenty of laughs and Spade rarely disappoints in the smart-ass roles he was apparently born to play. Behind the comedy, though, is a serious moral pertaining to the things in life more important than worldwide fame and adulation. I’ll give it three stars. Check it out.
Alrite, that’s all for now. I’ll be back eventually...
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
LONG TIME NO TYPE
Ok, so it’s been a little over a week since I posted anything. I figured it’s past time I went ahead and did a little something. How about a few quick sports notes while I ponder something else to write about for some other day? Let’s do it!
Terrell Owens: Raven or Eagle?
I personally don’t think that Terrell Owens is ever going to play a down as a Baltimore Raven this year. It’s obvious that his agent screwed up by not filing the proper paperwork to void the contract so that he could become a free agent. He probably should be a Raven. He’d do well there with the awesome ground game they put up in Baltimore. However, when a player doesn’t want to be somewhere, like Owens doesn’t want to be in Baltimore, it’s best that he doesn’t play there. He won’t put out his best effort if he is unhappy. And we know what Terrell Owens is like when he is unhappy. I expect him to be a Philadelphia Eagle somehow or another before this is all said and done.
Detroit Pistons: Defensive Juggernaut
Quietly, the Detroit Pistons (my favorite NBA team), have amassed a shot clock era record of holding their past 5 opponents to under 70 points per game. That’s an amazing feat for any era, let alone ours. Detroit is building great momentum heading into the playoffs and I hope they do well. I’d love to see another championship team this year...I think we might just have the squad to get it done. We’ve got great scorers like Chauncey Billups and Rip Hamilton. We’ve got the defensive capabilities of our recently acquired Rasheed Wallace and (2 time defending defensive player of the year) Ben Wallace. Also, I believe the Pistons have the best bench in the league. All the pieces are there for a championship run. Can we do it? God, I hope so.
Be Back Later...
I’ll be back within a couple days with probably some more sports talk and some thoughts on television and movies. See ya then.
Ok, so it’s been a little over a week since I posted anything. I figured it’s past time I went ahead and did a little something. How about a few quick sports notes while I ponder something else to write about for some other day? Let’s do it!
Terrell Owens: Raven or Eagle?
I personally don’t think that Terrell Owens is ever going to play a down as a Baltimore Raven this year. It’s obvious that his agent screwed up by not filing the proper paperwork to void the contract so that he could become a free agent. He probably should be a Raven. He’d do well there with the awesome ground game they put up in Baltimore. However, when a player doesn’t want to be somewhere, like Owens doesn’t want to be in Baltimore, it’s best that he doesn’t play there. He won’t put out his best effort if he is unhappy. And we know what Terrell Owens is like when he is unhappy. I expect him to be a Philadelphia Eagle somehow or another before this is all said and done.
Detroit Pistons: Defensive Juggernaut
Quietly, the Detroit Pistons (my favorite NBA team), have amassed a shot clock era record of holding their past 5 opponents to under 70 points per game. That’s an amazing feat for any era, let alone ours. Detroit is building great momentum heading into the playoffs and I hope they do well. I’d love to see another championship team this year...I think we might just have the squad to get it done. We’ve got great scorers like Chauncey Billups and Rip Hamilton. We’ve got the defensive capabilities of our recently acquired Rasheed Wallace and (2 time defending defensive player of the year) Ben Wallace. Also, I believe the Pistons have the best bench in the league. All the pieces are there for a championship run. Can we do it? God, I hope so.
Be Back Later...
I’ll be back within a couple days with probably some more sports talk and some thoughts on television and movies. See ya then.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS. OH, AND SOME CRAZY OLD PEOPLE TOO!
There’s been some interesting little nuggets I’ve been reading about on the internet and discussing with friends lately. I figured, since I don’t got much else to do right about now, I might as well talk about them in my weblog. So here goes...
Whacko Jacko
Well, Michael Jackson is always in the news, but I’m going to comment on him today. Why? Because he’s friggin’ hilarious!
See, I’ve been thinking lately about Michael going on trial for his most recent child molestation charges. Is he guilty? I’m not sure. I don’t know the whole story and I think it is best to at least get all the facts before making a decision. Therefore, I’ll hold off on any accusations.
However, wouldn’t it be funny as hell if he was found guilty and actually had to spend time in prison? Oh, the laughter! Oh, the joy! It would undoubtedly be the funniest thing to happen since, well, the last time Michael Jackson was in the news.
Let’s examine this, shall we? You just know he is going to get raped. The guy is going to have to wear steel underwear in the shower. Either that or he’s gonna wind up with more bones buried in him than Arlington National Cemetery. His ass will be completely and irrevocably torn and just turned into a huge, gaping hole. Michael will never be able to go to the bathroom correctly again. His bowels will just give up and he’ll constantly have dung in his drawers.
Also, there’s going to be no one around to help him with his hair and makeup, so he’ll slowly start decomposing like a wax dummy under a heat lamp. His nose would probably start drooping slowly down his face. Hell, it would probably fall clean off.
And all of this will be on the national news every single night. Not just on the news, it will be the lead story. Nothing could top it. Close your eyes. Visualize the scenario. “Good evening, I’m Peter Jennings and this is the ABC Nightly News. Today, Osama bin Laden arrived in Los Angeles by private jet. He stripped off his clothes and walked naked down Hollywood Boulevard before entering a tattoo shop to get his nipples pierced. Also, a terrorist cruise missile struck the White House, killing the President of the United States. But first, tonight’s top story. Michael Jackson is melting...”
So, here’s to hoping it will all end in a guilty verdict. Not just for justice, but for the sake of American comedy.
Wesley Snipes Has A Crack Baby?
So, have you heard that Wesley Snipes may have fathered a baby with a crack whore? If not...Extra! Extra! Read all about it here.
According to the story, Mr. Snipes and a woman he has allegedly known “all his life” had sex in a crack house in the year 2000. The crack mama says the baby she gave birth to is Wesley’s and wants him to take a paternity test. Thus far, Mr. Snipes has refused.
Now, if Wesley Snipes did indeed father this baby, it will be the best thing to happen to American comedy since Arnold became Governor of California. Admittedly, it will probably hurt Wesley’s career...but it’s still gonna be pretty goddamn hilarious. Hell, it already is.
Think about it. Wesley Snipes is a millionaire. He has MILLIONS of dollars. He is known worldwide for the movies he has starred in. But, he apparently digs having hot, nasty sex with crack whores in crack houses. Couldn’t he at least take her back to his home in the Hollywood Hills or something? I guess not.
If this is true, his career in movies may be effectively over. He will be homeless on the streets of Hollywood. Kids are going to come up to him while he’s panhandling for change and say, “Hey, aren’t you Wesley Snipes? Weren’t you in U.S. Marshals?” Wesley will look up from his worn out shoes and say, “Yes, I am. I was one of the biggest stars in the world.” The kids will pause momentarily in complete silence, then say “Hahaha, I thought it was you!!! You’re the guy who screwed a crack whore in a crack house!! What a loser!!”
It’s all going to be very interesting. I’m definitely going to stay tuned in to this story. But, after it’s all said and done, I’m still going to be left with one question. If a crack whore and Wesley Snipes have a child, is it born fiending for drugs and vampire movies? I wonder.
...And In A Related Story
Apparently, good ol’ Wes also likes slapping around a girl or two; most recently Halle Berry . But, about 8 years ago, he may or may not have had a run in with this girl.
In the article, the victim’s attorney alleges that Mr. Snipes used “martial-arts training to wreak devastating bodily harm upon [her],...when he hit, slapped, punched, kicked and choked the plaintiff and broke her leg.”
But, were all these verbs really necessary? Couldn’t they just say he beat her up? No, they had to use just about every single action word to describe being physically attacked. However, they did leave out a few. So I think I’m going to file my own claim against Wesley Snipes. Everyone else is doing it, so why can’t I?
I’m going to say that I was out for a morning walk when I happened upon the famous actor. I approached him cautiously, as I was well aware of his volatile temper. We exchanged pleasantries, but, when I asked for his autograph, he became enraged. Using his devastating martial arts tactics, he unleashed upon me a berserker attack of ferocity the likes of which have never been seen before. Mr. Snipes punched me, kicked me, slapped me and choked me in rapid-fire succession. With laser-like precision, he was then able to grab both of my nipples and give me an excruciatingly painful titty twister. Without hesitation he then leaped into the air and, with the fury of a thousand kung fu warriors, bicycle kicked me into unconsciousness.
Think it could work? I hope so. But, if not, maybe my mom will get pregnant and I'll make my new sibling call Wesley Snipes "daddy."
The Fracas In Florida
Did you hear about the old folks who started fighting at a Winter Haven, Florida salad bar? No, this isn’t a setup to some lame punch line. Read about it here. No further commentary needed. That’s just plain funny.
There’s been some interesting little nuggets I’ve been reading about on the internet and discussing with friends lately. I figured, since I don’t got much else to do right about now, I might as well talk about them in my weblog. So here goes...
Whacko Jacko
Well, Michael Jackson is always in the news, but I’m going to comment on him today. Why? Because he’s friggin’ hilarious!
See, I’ve been thinking lately about Michael going on trial for his most recent child molestation charges. Is he guilty? I’m not sure. I don’t know the whole story and I think it is best to at least get all the facts before making a decision. Therefore, I’ll hold off on any accusations.
However, wouldn’t it be funny as hell if he was found guilty and actually had to spend time in prison? Oh, the laughter! Oh, the joy! It would undoubtedly be the funniest thing to happen since, well, the last time Michael Jackson was in the news.
Let’s examine this, shall we? You just know he is going to get raped. The guy is going to have to wear steel underwear in the shower. Either that or he’s gonna wind up with more bones buried in him than Arlington National Cemetery. His ass will be completely and irrevocably torn and just turned into a huge, gaping hole. Michael will never be able to go to the bathroom correctly again. His bowels will just give up and he’ll constantly have dung in his drawers.
Also, there’s going to be no one around to help him with his hair and makeup, so he’ll slowly start decomposing like a wax dummy under a heat lamp. His nose would probably start drooping slowly down his face. Hell, it would probably fall clean off.
And all of this will be on the national news every single night. Not just on the news, it will be the lead story. Nothing could top it. Close your eyes. Visualize the scenario. “Good evening, I’m Peter Jennings and this is the ABC Nightly News. Today, Osama bin Laden arrived in Los Angeles by private jet. He stripped off his clothes and walked naked down Hollywood Boulevard before entering a tattoo shop to get his nipples pierced. Also, a terrorist cruise missile struck the White House, killing the President of the United States. But first, tonight’s top story. Michael Jackson is melting...”
So, here’s to hoping it will all end in a guilty verdict. Not just for justice, but for the sake of American comedy.
Wesley Snipes Has A Crack Baby?
So, have you heard that Wesley Snipes may have fathered a baby with a crack whore? If not...Extra! Extra! Read all about it here.
According to the story, Mr. Snipes and a woman he has allegedly known “all his life” had sex in a crack house in the year 2000. The crack mama says the baby she gave birth to is Wesley’s and wants him to take a paternity test. Thus far, Mr. Snipes has refused.
Now, if Wesley Snipes did indeed father this baby, it will be the best thing to happen to American comedy since Arnold became Governor of California. Admittedly, it will probably hurt Wesley’s career...but it’s still gonna be pretty goddamn hilarious. Hell, it already is.
Think about it. Wesley Snipes is a millionaire. He has MILLIONS of dollars. He is known worldwide for the movies he has starred in. But, he apparently digs having hot, nasty sex with crack whores in crack houses. Couldn’t he at least take her back to his home in the Hollywood Hills or something? I guess not.
If this is true, his career in movies may be effectively over. He will be homeless on the streets of Hollywood. Kids are going to come up to him while he’s panhandling for change and say, “Hey, aren’t you Wesley Snipes? Weren’t you in U.S. Marshals?” Wesley will look up from his worn out shoes and say, “Yes, I am. I was one of the biggest stars in the world.” The kids will pause momentarily in complete silence, then say “Hahaha, I thought it was you!!! You’re the guy who screwed a crack whore in a crack house!! What a loser!!”
It’s all going to be very interesting. I’m definitely going to stay tuned in to this story. But, after it’s all said and done, I’m still going to be left with one question. If a crack whore and Wesley Snipes have a child, is it born fiending for drugs and vampire movies? I wonder.
...And In A Related Story
Apparently, good ol’ Wes also likes slapping around a girl or two; most recently Halle Berry . But, about 8 years ago, he may or may not have had a run in with this girl.
In the article, the victim’s attorney alleges that Mr. Snipes used “martial-arts training to wreak devastating bodily harm upon [her],...when he hit, slapped, punched, kicked and choked the plaintiff and broke her leg.”
But, were all these verbs really necessary? Couldn’t they just say he beat her up? No, they had to use just about every single action word to describe being physically attacked. However, they did leave out a few. So I think I’m going to file my own claim against Wesley Snipes. Everyone else is doing it, so why can’t I?
I’m going to say that I was out for a morning walk when I happened upon the famous actor. I approached him cautiously, as I was well aware of his volatile temper. We exchanged pleasantries, but, when I asked for his autograph, he became enraged. Using his devastating martial arts tactics, he unleashed upon me a berserker attack of ferocity the likes of which have never been seen before. Mr. Snipes punched me, kicked me, slapped me and choked me in rapid-fire succession. With laser-like precision, he was then able to grab both of my nipples and give me an excruciatingly painful titty twister. Without hesitation he then leaped into the air and, with the fury of a thousand kung fu warriors, bicycle kicked me into unconsciousness.
Think it could work? I hope so. But, if not, maybe my mom will get pregnant and I'll make my new sibling call Wesley Snipes "daddy."
The Fracas In Florida
Did you hear about the old folks who started fighting at a Winter Haven, Florida salad bar? No, this isn’t a setup to some lame punch line. Read about it here. No further commentary needed. That’s just plain funny.
