Saturday, June 12, 2004
IMAGINE THIS...
I was flipping across the television dial earlier tonight and, since it was on about every channel, saw some of the Reagan funeral proceedings. Among the many friends and family walking past the casket, I noticed the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzennegger.
When I saw him there, I started wondering what would happen if he had to eulogize the deceased President. It would probably have been short, funny and rife with his old movie lines. Well, imagine for a moment that our dreams have come true. Yes, let’s pretend that Ah-nuhld had indeed been asked to give a eulogy. Here’s a sample of the sound bytes we would have heard (say them aloud in your best Arnold voice for maximun effect):
“In the movies, I played a character called the Terminator. But now, at the age of 93, it is President Ronald Reagan who has been terminated.”
“President Reagan spent 8 years in office restoring patriotic pride and fighting Communism worldwide. In the movies, I was the Commando...but Ronald Reagan was the true Commando-In-Chief.”
“Who is your daddy and what does he do? Ha Ha, I had no real reason to say that. I just wanted to find yet another environment to say my old movie lines in.”
“Until his recent death, President Reagan fought a long, courageous battle with Alzheimer’s. Unlike previously thought, it was not a tumor!!”
“I’ll be back. But you won’t!!”
“Nancy...it has been a week since your husband passed away. Get over it immediately. STOP WHINING! You are soft! You lack discipline! WELL I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU ARE MINE NOW! YOU BELONG TO ME!”
“Hasta La Vista, baby!”
I was flipping across the television dial earlier tonight and, since it was on about every channel, saw some of the Reagan funeral proceedings. Among the many friends and family walking past the casket, I noticed the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzennegger.
When I saw him there, I started wondering what would happen if he had to eulogize the deceased President. It would probably have been short, funny and rife with his old movie lines. Well, imagine for a moment that our dreams have come true. Yes, let’s pretend that Ah-nuhld had indeed been asked to give a eulogy. Here’s a sample of the sound bytes we would have heard (say them aloud in your best Arnold voice for maximun effect):
“In the movies, I played a character called the Terminator. But now, at the age of 93, it is President Ronald Reagan who has been terminated.”
“President Reagan spent 8 years in office restoring patriotic pride and fighting Communism worldwide. In the movies, I was the Commando...but Ronald Reagan was the true Commando-In-Chief.”
“Who is your daddy and what does he do? Ha Ha, I had no real reason to say that. I just wanted to find yet another environment to say my old movie lines in.”
“Until his recent death, President Reagan fought a long, courageous battle with Alzheimer’s. Unlike previously thought, it was not a tumor!!”
“I’ll be back. But you won’t!!”
“Nancy...it has been a week since your husband passed away. Get over it immediately. STOP WHINING! You are soft! You lack discipline! WELL I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU ARE MINE NOW! YOU BELONG TO ME!”
“Hasta La Vista, baby!”
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