Thursday, July 01, 2004
THE TRIAL OF MICHAEL MOORE: DAY ONE
I saw Michael Moore’s latest film, Fahrenheit 9/11, on Monday so I could see for myself what all the talk was about. It was an amazing piece of filmmaking and I wasn’t disappointed at all. Well, maybe with the actions of George W. Bush I was, but certainly not with Michael Moore. After all, what did he do besides present a documentation of the bullshit that has been going on in this country since the conflict with Iraq began a year ago?
Now, his fans will tell you that Michael Moore is a working class guy from Michigan who goes out of his way to shine the light on the people in power who do wrong. However, his critics argue that Moore is an anti-American propagandist who makes money off of lies and distorted truths. So which is it? Was this film made up of lies and propaganda ? Or, did he simply expose a lot of politicians and beaurocrats for the liars they truly are? I’ve decided to hold a mock trial to find out.
Arguing for the prosecution will be the conservative radio host, Rush Limbaugh. I will be working for the defense. I am an avid fan of Mike’s work and, though I do not always agree with him, I promise to be objective while I faithfully uphold the duties of my position as his counsel. The judge will be simply known as “Judge.” It could be Judge Wapner, Judge Judy or Judge Ito for all the hell I know. But whoever it is you picture in your mind’s eye, you can rest assured that he or she will weigh the facts heavily before making his or her decision. Sound fair? Good. Let’s get on with the trial, shall we?
Opening Arguments
JUDGE:
This is case number 8099 on the docket, Republicans vs. Michael Moore. Please be seated, court is now in session. Staying with proper procedure, we will begin opening arguments with the prosecution. As I understand, Mr. Rush Limbaugh will be orating. Is this, correct?
LIMBAUGH:
Yes, your honor.
JUDGE:
Very well. Please begin.
LIMBAUGH: (Gets out of his chair, waddles around, begins speaking)
Anti-American. Propagandist. Liar. These are three words that all can accurately describe so-called filmmaker Michael Moore. These are not baseless charges, however. With the testimony of this collected of conservative voices, I intend to prove to you point by point the aspects of our case.
It is our contention that through the release of his latest film, Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore has engaged in behavior that is not only dangerous to our national security, but aids terrorists by slandering President Bush.
We will offer a sufficient amount of evidence mined from Moore’s own film and books that will adequately convince you beyond a reasonable doubt that we are correct in our assessments. Thank you.
JUDGE:
Thank you, Mr. Limbaugh. The court will now hear the defense. Mr. Korbus, are you ready?
KORNBUS:
Yes, I’m ready. Thank you.
JUDGE:
Please begin.
KORNBUS:
Your honor, my client is innocent of the charges brought against him. Michael Moore is guilty of nothing more than trying to shed some light on an administration in Washington that has repeatedly deceived the public since the events of September 11th 2001. During the course of this trial, I will show that the right-wing of American politics has gone out of their way to slander and discredit Mr. Moore, with the goal of quieting dissent and a reasonable discussion of the issues.
Though I am a huge fan of his, I do not always agree with Michael Moore’s views or his solutions to the problems facing our nation. However, I completely defend his right to go on doing what he has been doing. And what does he do if not use his talent and celebrity to keep the wrongdoers of the nation in check?
There is an old saying that reads, “The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.” In other words, people who are free must always be on the lookout for other forces which will attempt to take away those precious freedoms. Michael Moore is one of the most vigilant men I know of. He believes in the freedom to say and do what you want, as long as you aren’t hurting another person. To criminalize freedom of speech, which is exactly what a guilty verdict would be doing, will not help anyone. No, in fact, it would hurt everyone by penalizing Americans for the freedoms guaranteed to them under the First Amendment. We cannot allow that to happen here today. Thank you.
Charge #1: Moore’s Film is One-Sided Propaganda
JUDGE
Mr. Limbaugh, call your first witness.
LIMBAUGH
The prosecution calls to the stand Mr. Sean Hannity
(HANNITY WALKS TO WITNESS CHAIR)
LIMBAUGH
Mr Hannity, you are a talk show host, correct?
HANNITY
Yes. I have a radio show I broadcast in the morning and I also have Hannity and Colmes, an hour-long show on the Fox News Channel.
LIMBAUGH
Are you familiar with Michael Moore and his latest movie, Fahrenheit 9/11?
HANNITY
Yes.
LIMBAUGH
And what are your views as it pertains to the movie?
HANNITY
Well, I would say it is clearly a one-sided attack on the Bush administration. It is not a documentary.
LIMBAUGH
Why is it not a documentary? Everyone is saying it is a documentary. People tell me it is the number one moneymaking documentary of all time. Please, explain yourself.
HANNITY
A documentary should provide an objective look at a situation. Fair and balanced reporting, if you will. It should not, as Michael Moore does frequently, offer opinion
LIMBAUGH
What about Fahrenheit 9/11 makes it un-objective?
HANNITY
Well, the movie does not give the Bush family a chance to respond to the allegations presented. Michael Moore says that the Bush family is basically in bed with the Saudi Royal Family, but Bush does not get the chance to retort.
LIMBAUGH
Ok, that’s one circumstance. Is there anything else you can point to?
HANNITY
Yes. There any many, really. But I’ll try to keep this short. The film makes claims that the Carlyle Group are war-profiteers, insinuating that they made a lot of money off of the terrorist attacks and the subsequent war in Iraq. The film also indicates that the Bush family has done business for years with the bin Laden’s and this was covered up to protect the current administration. These are all baseless charges. The Bush family, nor the administration is ever given a chance to answer to them.
LIMBAUGH
So it is your contention, Mr. Hannity, that Fahrenheit 9/11 is a one-sided attack on the Bush family and their respective administration. Is this correct?
HANNITY
Yes.
LIMBAUGH
Is it also your view that, because this film is one-sided, that the American people have been misled by Michael Moore into believing that President George W. Bush is unfit for office?
HANNITY
Yes. Very much so. I believe Michael Moore has intentionally and unfairly tried to skew the President’s tenure in an effort to discredit him as Commander-In-Chief.
LIMBAUGH
No further questions, your Honor.
JUDGE
Mr. Korbus, would you care to cross examine the witness?
KORNBUS
Yes, i would.
JUDGE
Proceed.
KORNBUS
Mr. Hannity, you’ve stated here in court today that Fahrenheit 9/11 is a one-sided attack on President Bush. I agree. It is one sided. But don’t you also feel that the controlled mass media has been one-sided in its approach to the war in Iraq as well?
HANNITY
How so?
KORNBUS
Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember Dan Rather or Tom Brokaw ever once seriously questioning the President’s call for war. If nothing else, the media played cheerleader to this aggression all along, wouldn’t you say?
HANNITY
Well, it is true that the country was behind the war effort, yes.
KORNBUS
And wouldn’t you say that the reason they were so solidly behind said war effort was because the media, including the Fox News Channel for you which you work, was pushing so hard for it?
HANNITY
I can’t say for sure.
KORNBUS
You can’t say? Would it be a fair statement to say that CBS and NBC Nightly News was pro-war?
HANNITY
Yes. That would be fair.
KORNBUS
And would it be fair to say that the Fox News Channel, deemed “the most trusted name in news,” was pro-war as well?
HANNITY
Yes, I suppose so.
KORNBUS
And would you agree that the reason people were so in favor of the war with Iraq was because they saw no reason to oppose it? After all, Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, right? Saddam helped plan 9/11 with Osama bin Laden, right?
HANNITY
Well, at the time...uh...err...there was no...
KORNBUS
At the time, Mr. Hannity, journalists had a responsibility to seek out the facts and report them to the American people. You and your colleagues failed to do that, sir. The network news journalists failed to do that as well. It has become clear that Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction. It has also become clear that he did not aid Osama bin Laden in the plot to carry out the attacks on 9/11. In fact, Osama bin Laden can’t stand Hussein can he?
HANNITY
That’s not true! There is an unspecified link between Iraq and Al-Qaeda.
KORNBUS
Unspecified link? Please, tell me more.
HANNITY
Well, all the facts haven’t come to light yet, so I really couldn’t actually...
KORNBUS
Face up to it, Mr. Hannity. There is no link between the two. You know this as well as I. Being in a position to help mold public opinion, you should have brought this to the attention of your viewing audience. You chose not to for reasons I cannot explain. If anything, that is the very definition of one-sided propaganda. No further questions.
JUDGE
You may step down, Mr. Hannity.
(Hannity leaves the stand)
JUDGE (cont’d)
At this time, we will take a recess. Court will resume in two days with further testimony and new evidence. Adjourned.
I saw Michael Moore’s latest film, Fahrenheit 9/11, on Monday so I could see for myself what all the talk was about. It was an amazing piece of filmmaking and I wasn’t disappointed at all. Well, maybe with the actions of George W. Bush I was, but certainly not with Michael Moore. After all, what did he do besides present a documentation of the bullshit that has been going on in this country since the conflict with Iraq began a year ago?
Now, his fans will tell you that Michael Moore is a working class guy from Michigan who goes out of his way to shine the light on the people in power who do wrong. However, his critics argue that Moore is an anti-American propagandist who makes money off of lies and distorted truths. So which is it? Was this film made up of lies and propaganda ? Or, did he simply expose a lot of politicians and beaurocrats for the liars they truly are? I’ve decided to hold a mock trial to find out.
Arguing for the prosecution will be the conservative radio host, Rush Limbaugh. I will be working for the defense. I am an avid fan of Mike’s work and, though I do not always agree with him, I promise to be objective while I faithfully uphold the duties of my position as his counsel. The judge will be simply known as “Judge.” It could be Judge Wapner, Judge Judy or Judge Ito for all the hell I know. But whoever it is you picture in your mind’s eye, you can rest assured that he or she will weigh the facts heavily before making his or her decision. Sound fair? Good. Let’s get on with the trial, shall we?
Opening Arguments
JUDGE:
This is case number 8099 on the docket, Republicans vs. Michael Moore. Please be seated, court is now in session. Staying with proper procedure, we will begin opening arguments with the prosecution. As I understand, Mr. Rush Limbaugh will be orating. Is this, correct?
LIMBAUGH:
Yes, your honor.
JUDGE:
Very well. Please begin.
LIMBAUGH: (Gets out of his chair, waddles around, begins speaking)
Anti-American. Propagandist. Liar. These are three words that all can accurately describe so-called filmmaker Michael Moore. These are not baseless charges, however. With the testimony of this collected of conservative voices, I intend to prove to you point by point the aspects of our case.
It is our contention that through the release of his latest film, Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore has engaged in behavior that is not only dangerous to our national security, but aids terrorists by slandering President Bush.
We will offer a sufficient amount of evidence mined from Moore’s own film and books that will adequately convince you beyond a reasonable doubt that we are correct in our assessments. Thank you.
JUDGE:
Thank you, Mr. Limbaugh. The court will now hear the defense. Mr. Korbus, are you ready?
KORNBUS:
Yes, I’m ready. Thank you.
JUDGE:
Please begin.
KORNBUS:
Your honor, my client is innocent of the charges brought against him. Michael Moore is guilty of nothing more than trying to shed some light on an administration in Washington that has repeatedly deceived the public since the events of September 11th 2001. During the course of this trial, I will show that the right-wing of American politics has gone out of their way to slander and discredit Mr. Moore, with the goal of quieting dissent and a reasonable discussion of the issues.
Though I am a huge fan of his, I do not always agree with Michael Moore’s views or his solutions to the problems facing our nation. However, I completely defend his right to go on doing what he has been doing. And what does he do if not use his talent and celebrity to keep the wrongdoers of the nation in check?
There is an old saying that reads, “The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.” In other words, people who are free must always be on the lookout for other forces which will attempt to take away those precious freedoms. Michael Moore is one of the most vigilant men I know of. He believes in the freedom to say and do what you want, as long as you aren’t hurting another person. To criminalize freedom of speech, which is exactly what a guilty verdict would be doing, will not help anyone. No, in fact, it would hurt everyone by penalizing Americans for the freedoms guaranteed to them under the First Amendment. We cannot allow that to happen here today. Thank you.
Charge #1: Moore’s Film is One-Sided Propaganda
JUDGE
Mr. Limbaugh, call your first witness.
LIMBAUGH
The prosecution calls to the stand Mr. Sean Hannity
(HANNITY WALKS TO WITNESS CHAIR)
LIMBAUGH
Mr Hannity, you are a talk show host, correct?
HANNITY
Yes. I have a radio show I broadcast in the morning and I also have Hannity and Colmes, an hour-long show on the Fox News Channel.
LIMBAUGH
Are you familiar with Michael Moore and his latest movie, Fahrenheit 9/11?
HANNITY
Yes.
LIMBAUGH
And what are your views as it pertains to the movie?
HANNITY
Well, I would say it is clearly a one-sided attack on the Bush administration. It is not a documentary.
LIMBAUGH
Why is it not a documentary? Everyone is saying it is a documentary. People tell me it is the number one moneymaking documentary of all time. Please, explain yourself.
HANNITY
A documentary should provide an objective look at a situation. Fair and balanced reporting, if you will. It should not, as Michael Moore does frequently, offer opinion
LIMBAUGH
What about Fahrenheit 9/11 makes it un-objective?
HANNITY
Well, the movie does not give the Bush family a chance to respond to the allegations presented. Michael Moore says that the Bush family is basically in bed with the Saudi Royal Family, but Bush does not get the chance to retort.
LIMBAUGH
Ok, that’s one circumstance. Is there anything else you can point to?
HANNITY
Yes. There any many, really. But I’ll try to keep this short. The film makes claims that the Carlyle Group are war-profiteers, insinuating that they made a lot of money off of the terrorist attacks and the subsequent war in Iraq. The film also indicates that the Bush family has done business for years with the bin Laden’s and this was covered up to protect the current administration. These are all baseless charges. The Bush family, nor the administration is ever given a chance to answer to them.
LIMBAUGH
So it is your contention, Mr. Hannity, that Fahrenheit 9/11 is a one-sided attack on the Bush family and their respective administration. Is this correct?
HANNITY
Yes.
LIMBAUGH
Is it also your view that, because this film is one-sided, that the American people have been misled by Michael Moore into believing that President George W. Bush is unfit for office?
HANNITY
Yes. Very much so. I believe Michael Moore has intentionally and unfairly tried to skew the President’s tenure in an effort to discredit him as Commander-In-Chief.
LIMBAUGH
No further questions, your Honor.
JUDGE
Mr. Korbus, would you care to cross examine the witness?
KORNBUS
Yes, i would.
JUDGE
Proceed.
KORNBUS
Mr. Hannity, you’ve stated here in court today that Fahrenheit 9/11 is a one-sided attack on President Bush. I agree. It is one sided. But don’t you also feel that the controlled mass media has been one-sided in its approach to the war in Iraq as well?
HANNITY
How so?
KORNBUS
Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember Dan Rather or Tom Brokaw ever once seriously questioning the President’s call for war. If nothing else, the media played cheerleader to this aggression all along, wouldn’t you say?
HANNITY
Well, it is true that the country was behind the war effort, yes.
KORNBUS
And wouldn’t you say that the reason they were so solidly behind said war effort was because the media, including the Fox News Channel for you which you work, was pushing so hard for it?
HANNITY
I can’t say for sure.
KORNBUS
You can’t say? Would it be a fair statement to say that CBS and NBC Nightly News was pro-war?
HANNITY
Yes. That would be fair.
KORNBUS
And would it be fair to say that the Fox News Channel, deemed “the most trusted name in news,” was pro-war as well?
HANNITY
Yes, I suppose so.
KORNBUS
And would you agree that the reason people were so in favor of the war with Iraq was because they saw no reason to oppose it? After all, Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, right? Saddam helped plan 9/11 with Osama bin Laden, right?
HANNITY
Well, at the time...uh...err...there was no...
KORNBUS
At the time, Mr. Hannity, journalists had a responsibility to seek out the facts and report them to the American people. You and your colleagues failed to do that, sir. The network news journalists failed to do that as well. It has become clear that Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction. It has also become clear that he did not aid Osama bin Laden in the plot to carry out the attacks on 9/11. In fact, Osama bin Laden can’t stand Hussein can he?
HANNITY
That’s not true! There is an unspecified link between Iraq and Al-Qaeda.
KORNBUS
Unspecified link? Please, tell me more.
HANNITY
Well, all the facts haven’t come to light yet, so I really couldn’t actually...
KORNBUS
Face up to it, Mr. Hannity. There is no link between the two. You know this as well as I. Being in a position to help mold public opinion, you should have brought this to the attention of your viewing audience. You chose not to for reasons I cannot explain. If anything, that is the very definition of one-sided propaganda. No further questions.
JUDGE
You may step down, Mr. Hannity.
(Hannity leaves the stand)
JUDGE (cont’d)
At this time, we will take a recess. Court will resume in two days with further testimony and new evidence. Adjourned.
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